Things that matter

I'm in Occupational Therapy School.

I love Occupational Therapy. I love the ideas and the values of the profession. I love considering each person uniquely and seeing potential in all clients. I love that as an Occupational Therapist, you can work within any age group and in an incredible variety of settings (hospital, community, treatment centres, mental health facilities).

Then why do you constantly hear me say how i procrastinate when it comes to school work? Why do i always make sure people understand that school is a last priority for me?

The reason is that i know what i want to do with my degree. I want to work with children with special needs. This is my passion. This is my number one priority. And when we have to spend so much time in school preparing for the plethora of careers paths we can take, i get bored, i disengage and i procrastinate.

As of late, i have frequently found myself explaining to people my lack of interest in school ... and started second guessing myself. Maybe i should put more time into it? But on Monday night, my original beliefs were reassured!

.... Monday nights, i work with a young guy who is 12. He is your typical boy. He likes to get dirty, explore, play rough, eat, jump and swim. He is a sweetheart deep down who struggles with behavioural outbursts that are most often immediately followed by remorse and a visible, internal struggle with appropriate behaviours when he is trying to communicate. I love him. He likes me too!

I have been working with this young guy for 8 months, and unfortunately because of my new school schedule, my classes go too late on Mondays for me to work with him anymore. I dropped him off on Monday (my second last night with him) ... and stayed a bit later talking with his mom. (a usual occurrence as she is stressed out her mind with two children with special needs, a job, a house and all the extra stuff that goes along with that). Tonight, she was telling me how she was interviewing a new girl to come work with her little guy. She was telling me how he was acting out in front of the new girl. And through spontaneous tears, the mother tells me how he does this cause he knows yet another girl is leaving. Through tears, she tells me how hard it is when he will ask for a girl by name and she has to tell him that she is not coming anymore more. Through tears she tells me that he will miss me. Through tears, she tells me it is so hard for her to send him off with someone new. And through tears but without words she tells me how much she cares for her son. How much he means to her. How much she wants him to be happy.

My eyes were filled with tears, and i returned to my car to let them fall. And i sit for a little while ... Gain composure, and am reassured ... this is what i care about, this is what matters, this is why i'd rather spend time with these kids than reading 40 pages on evolution of the raised toilet seat.